To be fair, I don’t watch many different shows anymore, so this list might be a very small percentage. Even then it’s a start.

I’m fairly tired of watching gritty cop shows or gritty hospital dramas so that limits me quite a bit right there. However, one of the dads that seems decent on TV is from Criminal Minds (which I try not to watch but sometime you get stuck in the marathons). Aaron Hotchner, played by Thomas Gibson, has had many touching moments and many difficult moments in dealing with raising his son. All the serial killer who killed his ex-wife stuff aside his role as a father has been written and played well. Making a living and being a father can be a difficult thing to find balance it and that is important to show. He is a fairly cold seeming person, who has a warm relationship with his son.

Getting away from gritty cop shows that will keep you up at night worrying about the depravity of humanity, let’s go to a humorous cop show – Castle. This show is formulaic in every way shape and form. However Rick Castle, played by Malcom Reynolds Nathan Fillion, is a good father. In fact the show often has his parenting dilemma a background story to the main murder investigation. Sometimes his case helps him parent better, sometimes it is the other way around. Yes, Castle can often times be juvenile but he, like all of us, still has an inner child that likes to play. This is good to show. Being a dad doesn’t mean you can’t have some fun.

Moving on from a silly show to another silly show, with serious overtones. I bring you Glee. I swear, all that singing out of nowhere happened at my school, okay maybe not. But it could have. The right people were there. I’m sorry where was I? Oh yeah, great fathers. This show has one of the best. Burt Hummel, played by Mike O’Malley,is the dad every outcast wants (and hey we all feel like an outcast now and then). His son, Kurt (I know, Kurt and Burt – the names are interesting in this show), is gay and deals with many things a gay son would deal with. As a heterosexual father he deals with them all magnifiscently. I can think of many great scenes where I thought to myself, wow what a great dad.

Some that stick out: 
• Telling his girlfriend’s son, Finn, he can’t live there after Finn starts talking about all Kurt’s Faggy stuff. He had just invited them to live with him and this would probably ruin his new relationship
• Having a talk with his son about sex. How hard is this when both parties are heterosexual? He still does what he knows he needs to do for his son.

Basically, Dads are becoming important in pop culture again. Sure, some are still absent and some are still jokes but now some are stepping up to the plate. They aren’t just showing up to the game and sitting on the bench. This is a good sign that the collective unconscious knows good dads are great characters. Here’s to all the good dad’s out there who show their great character every day they take the time to parent.

This year another of my resolutions has to do with my Men’s Studies. Recently Men’s Group 101, a partnership between Tripp Lanier(The New Man Podcast) and Jayson Gaydiss, had a New Year sale on their program. The sale seemed good and I was in a resolution mode so I purchased it.

What does this mean!

OMG! Does this mean I’m going to start a men’s group in 2012? Perhaps, I don’t know. However, at the very least, I hope to be a part of one in 2012. You are probably thinking, “That sounds great Daryl, but why would you want to be part of a mens group?”

For me a mens group is yet another way for me to connect with my sacred masculine. Having grown up in an all female household I’ve felt disconnected for a long time. Only recently have I begun to connect with my personal maleness. Now I feel it is time to connect with other men with a desire to connect with the sacred masculine.

Have you ever wished you had a circle of Men who you met with regularly, who “had your back” and were committed to your greatness as a man?

The quote above is from an email I got from Men’s Group 101 that I think sums it up the best. To have a group of guys who have your back when you need it, which includes calling you on your own bullshit, sounds like a way to empower mens towards extra-ordinary lives.

I realize this post doesn’t say much about what exactly will happen. What I’m saying is, I’m open to something happening and I’m taking steps towards it – starting with the purchase of the Men’s Group 101 program. I’m not sure where it will take me but I’ll share with you along the way in future Wednesday Warrior posts.

Have you ever been interested in joining a men’s group? Have you ever been a part of men’s group? Have you known someone else who has? Please share your stories in the comments below. Also, if you are in the Seattle area and you are reading this, write a comment or hit up my contact page.

I have an on again off again relationship with the New Man Podcast. The reason I’ve listened to it on and off is not because it is mediocre. It is because the podcast is so very confronting. With the subtitle of “Beyond the Macho Jerk and the New Age Jerk” the podcast gets to the real heart of what it takes for a man to live a powerful life. If you’ve never looked into mens studies and don’t think you need to take a listen. I promise, you’ll be surprised.

Each podcast usually has Tripp interviewing a guest who has something to offer men on their own personal journeys or women trying to understand them. Actually, much of this could probably help women in their own lives as well.

The most recent episode had Tripp Lanier interviewing author Steven Pressfield about resistance and self sabatoge.

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Tripp Lanier not only has this podcast but he also has his consulting business for those willing to really take their lives to the next level. I have been tempted many times to look into it but I’ve still found myself unwilling to play that big of a game. Don’t be surprised if that changes in the near future. However you might want to first check out “The New Manual.”

Have any of you listened to Tripp Lanier? What are your thoughts? Are there other leaders in the mens movement you like listening to? I’d love to hear your comments and stories below. Thanks.

The Grandfatherly Heart

Grandfather Sky, the grandfatherly heart, isn’t that different in relationship to the father metaphors than the relationship between grandfathers and fathers ( and sons for that matter ). Grandfather Sky is the father metaphors at new stage of life. Where the father metaphors are still about providing for family and community through (great) work, Grandfather sky is about providing for family and community through wisdom.

Beyond just sharing its own wisdom, the Grandfatherly Heart is also about taking in the wisdom of youth – be that the sons or be that the fathers. The Grandfatherly Heart knows enough to know that there is much he doesn’t know. Thus, Grandfather Sky, learns from youth as much as they teach the youth.

My Own Experiences

In reading this chapter again I remember a conversation I had with my step-father in law regarding his relationship with my sons. I couldn’t ask for a better grandfather figure in my sons’ lives than him and I was telling him how much I appreciate him. He D’Artagnan and Draegan so much time and I know when I come home I often don’t have the focus or energy to give the same amount of myself to them as he does. He just smiled and told me it was the same for him with his kids. He reminded me, I have to drum up the energy every day and he only has to do it when we come to visit. His energy, his heart is not only a gift to my sons but it is a gift to me as well.

Then there are the projects. Both my step father in law and father in law spend time doing projects with my kids. Often woodworking projects, something they are both good at and I have no experience in. I so appreciate their passing down of wisdom to the boys. That is the Grandfatherly Heart giving freely, not so much wisdom, but love of a craft.

My Inner Grandfather

Rather than wait the many years until I, possibly, become a literal grandfather I decided to take a look at what this metaphor means for me right now. Often the modern versions of the father looks at their actual work as the way they define themselves. The grandfather, on the other hand, now looks at their family, their communities and their contributions as the way they define themselves. There is also the difference in relationship to death. The grandfatherly heart is much more aware of death, and accepting of it. It is, after all, a natural part of life and they know enough to see it for what it is. In this way Grandfather Sky is connected to the Hunter-Gatherer who just sees death as and extremely natural part of life. In a recent national geographic article on the Hazda, they have only begun to bury their dead in recent decades after pressure from governments. Instead they just let nature take its course. It takes a bit for my modern mind to even deal with that – even though it makes perfect sense.
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Earth Father – sacred masculine central

Fatherhood is central to the sacred masculine. From this book alone you can see how it is linked to each of the other 9 metaphors:

• Father Sky – Also a father metaphor, father sky is more distant than the Earth Father. One must not forget the importance of solitude and space in masculinity/fatherhood which Father Sky provides.
• The Green Man – This one is linked as another earth metaphor. Earth Father is grounded, much like the Green Man. Being a good steward of our planet is a great way to provide for our children and our children’s children.
• Icarus and Daedalus – Another father metaphor, or a rather a parable to learn from. Fathers must not only be willing to teach their children, but learn from them as well.
• Hunter-Gatherers – In modern society this is hard to see. Where are the rites of passage from boyhood to manhood ? How can we as men create the important psychological and spiritual aspects of these for our children?
• Spiritual Warriors – As a father, what do we fight for? What do we value? We reap what we sow in regards to the Spiritual Warrior’s connection to the Earth Father. We must lead by example.
• Masculine Sexuality, Numinous Sexuality – I do not want my sons to learn that sex = shame. I want them to be powerful individuals in all aspects of their lives.
• Our Cosmic and Animal Bodies – As fathers how do we take care of our bodies? Our children’s? Once again, leading by example has us teach our children respect for themselves.
• The Blue Man – In all the trials and tribulations of fathering, there must be compassion, there must be a loving heart.
• Grandfather Sky:The Grandfatherly Heart – The father begets the grandfather, ’nuff said

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Earth Father – not just for fathers

While the earth father and fathering are central to the sacred masculine they do not refer only to literal fatherhood. Literal fatherhood is just the most obvious place to access it. In a post ( or two ) on my old blog I discussed Mr. Miyagi from the Karate Kid. No one would say that there is not an earth father being portrayed in those films and yet he is not a literal father. A powerful force, the mentor. The mentor spreads earth father energy out into the community. Perhaps you have a memory of a teacher that became your mentor at one point. They are out there and you can be one too. It doesn’t take much but time and caring, but mostly caring.

Paternal energy doesn’t stop with men either. The earth father’s paternal energy can be tapped into by women ( and is ) in the same way that men can tap into the earth mother’s maternal energy. A literal father and literal mother both tap into paternal and maternal energies, it takes both to raise a child.

Being a stand for the community

The Earth Father takes a look at the world he is leaving for his children, and his children’s children, and strives to make it the best he can make it for them. To do this he must stand for his community and in his community. Helping others and helping the environment are the keys. For a while I’ve been wondering if I could find a mens group in my area. Recently I’ve actually thought about the possibility of actually being the one to create a mens group in my area for this very reason. By being a stand for those around us to be great, we get to live in greatness.

These are of course my take on earth father energies. I’d love to hear others. Perhaps you aren’t a literal father and have a take on it. Maybe you are a grandfather who has reach the next level of fatherhood. Maybe you are a woman reading this and care to share with us your perspective. Whatever your view I’d love to hear it in the comments. Of course, keep in mind that I barely touch the topic and this is a great book to read yourself as you will most likely get something else out of it than I.

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The Amazing Human Body

Scientifically speaking ( and sounding rather spiritual ) our bodies are made of star stuff! ( See the video at the end for a tribute to this statement ). Throughout our lives we probably hear all sorts of amazing facts about our bodies, from how many times our heart beats, to the strength of our bones, to the amazing control our brain can have over our body. Even with this information we still, most likely, go throughout our day without giving its fascinating abilities and nature a second thought. The fact that we don’t have to think about it is really just more proof as to how amazing it is. If we start with a sense of awe and thankfulness for our bodies we can move through this metaphor quite easily.

Body as Shadow

In our modern culture we often lose this sense of wonder about our bodies. Early on in life we are taught to dismiss the joy of using our bodies. We are taught to settle down, to sit still. And while the brain is a part of the body, our relatively new focus on using just that is hindering our body whole ( including the brain ). What synapses aren’t getting connected as we sit still? ( Says the guy who is sitting still typing this blog post ). We are animals and we need to move. My 6 year old practically vibrates he needs to move so much. It helps him think and focus if he moves while he is using his brain. Thank goodness my wife is homeschooling him, the school system we currently have has no clue what to do with our animal requirement of movement ( except P.E. ). Perhaps this lack of respect is a part of some of the health problems in our culture. Surely we can see the link between motionlessness and obesity. The more we train ourselves to sit still when we are young, the more difficult it is to move when we are older. How would our culture look, how would we look physically if we once again started to honor our bodies? [ad#Google Adsense]

Our Sacred Bodies

Some people seem to already honor their bodies and often proclaim that,”My body is a temple.” What does that mean really? For them it might mean that they exercise regularly and maybe they have a good diet. If we take it further, and look at the spiritual context of this statement we can see more. According to dictionary.com a temple can be anything from a building devoted to some public use to any place or object in which God dwells. Though the last one comes from Christianity and I am not much of a Christian I believe that definition holds the most power. If your body is an object in which God dwells how would you treat it? Maybe for you, you might start to dance. Not a bad idea, dancing is awesome exercise and has a very ancient spiritual history. For myself, this chapter and questions like this finally had me run. I had tried to run in the past for sure, but I never took it seriously. I have never seen myself as a runner and in this space of my body temple I recreated myself as one. I found the Couch to 5K program ( C25K ) and I have been following it strictly, running 3 times per week. Running in the rain, the wind and the freezing cold. Some days have taken me as many as 5 attempts to complete, but I did keep trying until I completed them.  I am now on week 8 and this past Monday completed day 1. If you haven’t checked the schedule, that’s 28 minutes straight of running. Not only did I gain running ability, but I also gained many positive side effects. Running has been the thread for me that has connected, I believe, all the metaphors from this book in some way. In fact, at some point I will discuss how running has affected me in greater detail including its relationship to the 10 metaphors. After I complete the C25K program what’s next? I don’t know, but running has always been the beginnings of properly training parkour so next I’ll probably create myself as a traceur.

The Many Languages of the Body

If you want to communicate with someone how do you do it? You might think it is with words, but studies have shown that a majority of communication is body language. In this book Matthew Fox let’s John Conger speak about 7 different languages we have, only one of which is actual verbal communication:

• Instinct
• Sensorimotor
• Vocabulary
• Innate patterns recognized by psychology
• The artistry of senses
• Signs and symbols

All these different methods of communication require our bodies for some of the communication.

Continue Reading this article…

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Here it is, the metaphor on sexuality. This metaphor was the most confronting to start reading. I put it off both subconsciously and consciously for about 2 weeks. At the same time, masculine sexual energy is a major reason I started looking into the men’s studies movement. As a father of two boys, I kept questioning whether or not I would know how to speak powerfully to them about sex when the time comes.

Being raised in an all (powerful) female household I really never had a male figure I trusted to discuss these things with and I was already ashamed about how other men treated women. Initially, the question of masculine sexuality pulled me on this journey through the sacred masculine and I was afraid of this metaphor the most ( my ego was definitely shaking in its boots ).
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When I finally read the chapter, I breezed through it and got a lot of information. I felt much more comfortable and saw the bigger picture of the sacredness of sexuality. When I reread it before writing this article I noticed how much I missed. Realizing that my subconscious probably zoned out on the first pass, I made an effort to take in the information inside this book.

I feel I must say one thing before moving on. This article is about sexuality as it concerns the sacred masculine. It is meant as a serious spiritual discussion. Watch where you find yourself giggling as that is where you are probably missing out sacrament of sex. Read on if you are ready.

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The Spiritual Warrior

What is a spiritual warrior and why is it important?

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Warrior, soldier – what’s the difference?

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