The Hunter Gatherer

As far as we can determine, almost all of human existence consists of humans being hunter gatherers. Only recently, historically speaking, have we changed to farming for sustenance. Even more recent is how much of our lives hide the fact that farming goes on at all.  We’ve move from being hunters and gatherers who must search to our food; to farmers, who are still connected to where our food comes from; to now having no idea where our food even comes from. The hunter gatherer metaphor isn’t just about food though, it is about cultural difference. While it is easy to see what we have gained, there is quite a bit that we have lost.

Joy & Shame

The power of ancient tribal culture can be summed up in 2 words – joy and shame. These two things represent both, what we have lost and what we (unconsciously) carry with us from our cultural past. Both are hard wired into our masculine beings and acknowledgement of this fact is the path to understanding.  By acknowledging that shame, right or wrong, guides our lives powerfully and that enjoying ancient rituals (sometimes in new ways) is worthwhile we can make some powerful choices about who we will be.
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Ancient rituals which center around drums, dancing and storytelling are quite easily pushed aside in civilized society. Drums are loud and annoy people, dancing makes you look like an idiot and stories need to be chopped down into bite size pieces because no one has the time to pay attention anymore. Drums are representative of rhythm. The first sound we hear is the sound of our mothers’ heart, but then the noise of the world drowns out that beat. The noise of the world hasn’t always been there and rhythm is our way of connecting with nature. We do this through music we love, through music we make and if we listen closely we might even hear the rhythms of life itself. Dancing is an extension of this connection. Using rhythm & dance we are connecting our cosmic bodies with our green man and mother earth. Ancient rituals of rhythm and dance were used, not only to create this connection but to tell stories.  Stories told in this way were used to pass on generational wisdom before the invention of writing.

The joy of listening is a lost art. My favorite movie – Strictly Ballroom – has a line, “Listen to the rhythm, don’t be scared” that always hits home for me. This movie is especially about civilized dancing limiting a person’s self expression – I highly recommend it. Listening to the world and people around us is probably the most powerful way for us to move forward as a species. How can we experience joy, though, if we feel shameful of this enjoyment?

Shame, I think that word pretty much wraps up the entirety being male. How constantly it seems to come up for me and as I read my mens’ studies books, how often it comes up for others as well. Is it hard wired from our ancient heritage? In hunter gatherer societies when someone broke the laws of the tribe they weren’t imprisoned, they were cast out. Without the protection and camaraderie of your fellow tribesmen life would be exceedingly tough, if you survived at all. This is how shame has become hard wired in our present day selves.

Shame is the experience of not belonging, secondary shame is the feeling of not belonging. In our present day culture it is so easy to evoke these feeling but we must be aware of the distinction between feeling and experiencing. It is minor, but it makes a big difference that will be clear as we discuss the shadow energies that show up with hunter gatherer energy in today’s world. The distinction also shows up positive ways as well. One obvious, yet not very prevalent, example is in modern day spiritual warriors.

“…is it not true that authentic prophets risk shame? They too risk being expelled from the community, literally or figuratively…”

Serious Issue + Humor is good but magic makes it better

I first heard about this book from an article in Ode magazine ( a magazine for intelligent optimists ). What they showed was an excerpt that turns out to be from the book’s forward.  I’d like to share a specific part of this book as well, in the hopes that some might join me on this journey.  By the way this excerpt is used without permission.

Why have men, to greater and lesser degrees, “hidden” their spiritual ives? The reasons are almost endless, but often each man’s reasons interlock in a tight web that keeps spirituality unacknowledged and unexpressed.  Here are just a few:

• Because Western culture is still a dualistic patriarchy that values thinking over feeling, material wealth over spiritual, scientific fact over intuitive knowledge, men over women, and heterosexuals over homosexuals.
• Because men are rarely rewarded and often mocked, for openly expressing their deepest feelings of joy, sensitivity, and pain.
• Because many men carry wounds inside they would rather forget or put aside than admit are there.
• Because modern religions are out of touch with their mystical traditions, whose language and concepts help us cope with our deepest experiences, our “dark nights of the soul.”
• Because often spiritual truth and understandings defy language and live in silence, and what is not lassoed by words is considered secret and kep hidden.
• Because men, who are “not supposed to cry,” learn to hide their grief as well as their joy.
• Because in times of war, governments do not welcome the authentic, questioning spirituality of warriors, but want the religious obedience of soldiers.
• Because our anthropocentric culture puts more value on human life, needs, and ruls than in connecting humbly to the vast cosmos.
• Because men sometimes work so hard that they do not have time or space for exploring their hearts.
• Because, in an attempt to respect the women’s movement, some men feel compelled to silence themselves and hid any “unacceptable” maleness.
• Because homophobia robs men of their capacity to relate deeply to other men.  Even men who overcome homophobia must often keep this secret in an excessively heterosexist culture.
• Because men sometimes confuse religion and spirituality, and in the process run from their own journey with Spirit.
• Because men lack rites of passage that demarcate movement from boyhood to adulthood, and such rituals that modern religions maintain, such as confirmation and bar mitzvah, fail to do the job.
• Because our culture more often rewards men for their extroverted rather than their introverted sides.
• Because there may be a hiddenness about all spirituality. What is deep is hidden, and a spiritual journey explores the “unnameable” aspects of Divinity, the Godhead behind God.
• Because many men are mystics but lack the vocabulary to name what they experience.
• Because “men learn only through ritual” ( Robert Bly ) and substantive rituals are hard to come by in modern culture.
• Because men want to hide their shame and aggression or at least hide from them.
• Because communication between boys and fathers is often cold or nonexistent in our culture, and too many elders “retire” to the golf course rather than mentor younger generations.
• Because fatherless homes offer few role models for young men to emulate.
• Because an “original sin ideology” makes men doubt their beauty and right to be here, and teachings about God as a punitive Father create a toxic, punitive role model.
• Because men don’t know how — and are not trained — to deal with their anger and outrage in healthy ways.
• Because men, like all humans, can be lazy and will avoid the hard work of spiritual exploration if they can.
• Because cynicism, depression, and exhaustion can make soul work seem pointless or overwhelming.

I plan on sharing what I get out of reading this book in a hope that it will help others understand men and/or themselves better. However, I am not a scholarly writer so my words may not be as eloquent as those in the book. So if you want to join me on this expedition into the depths of masculinity it might be best to bring along a good book.